“It’s all my fault…” Sadly, this is a common theme for many children who have been impacted by sexual abuse. Did you know one in 10 children will be sexually abused before the age of 18 years old? Each year in Nebraska an average of 1,500 children are sexually abused and/or display problematic sexual behaviors. The RSafe® program of Lutheran Family Services of Nebraska (LFS) is committed to helping children and families heal from sexual abuse. Because children live what they learn, a child who has experienced sexual abuse is likely to act out. In fact, 100% of girls and 51% of boys who have been treated for problematic sexual behaviors in the LFS RSafe® program have experienced sexual abuse themselves.
Lesley was just seven years old when her step-father began sexually abusing her. The abuse happened for over five years. Week after week, month after month, and year after year, the abuse continued to happen. As Lesley was too scared to tell anyone in fear of not being believed, no one in Lesley’s life was aware what she had been going through. When Lesley was ten, she displayed problematic sexual behaviors with her two-year-old sister. Lesley soon went from being a victim of her step-father’s behaviors to being an outcast in her own family. From the outside looking in, Lesley was viewed as a perpetrator and her mother was left feeling as though she did not know her own daughter. In reality, Lesley’s problematic sexual behaviors were a cry for help. Lesley had re-enacted her own sexual abuse experience in an effort to resolve her own inner conflict, to seek a feeling she did not understand. After displaying problematic sexual behaviors, Lesley was left feeling even more helpless, even guiltier, and even more fearful than before.
After Lesley’s display of problematic sexual behaviors, she was placed in foster care to receive treatment and to ensure her safety and the safety of the other children involved. Due to Lesley’s behaviors, it was imperative that she was not placed in a foster home with other children, that she had line-of-sight and ear shot supervision at all times, and that her foster home had the appropriate knowledge and background to meet Lesley’s treatment needs. With such specific needs, Lesley’s placement options were limited and she became at risk of being placed in a home that would not complement her treatment needs. It was not until Lesley was placed in an LFS RSafe® Certified Foster Home that she began making great strides in all aspects of her life, including her relationship with her mother, her trauma history, and understanding how her problematic sexual behaviors were impacted by her own sexual abuse history.
The RSafe® Certified Foster Care program of Lutheran Family Services provides a stable home environment for children involved in the RSafe treatment program. By providing children with an alternative to shelter placements and reducing the need for a higher level of care, the RSafe® Certified Foster Care program reduces a child’s trauma. Children who complete the RSafe® program have a less than two percent risk of displaying future problematic sexual behaviors. With the help of the RSafe® treatment team and her RSafe® Certified Foster Care placement, Lesley has continued to process her sexual abuse trauma and is gaining an increased insight and understanding regarding how her behaviors impacted her sister. Lesley has not had any additional problematic sexual behaviors and she and her family are learning how to live with this new normal.
For more information about foster care and how you can help contact Lutheran Family Services by phone at (402)-661-7100 or visit LFSneb.org.